Disillusionment and a List.

In the interest of retaining some semblance of sanity, it has become necessary for me to compile the following list.


  • I have a very lovely Lady Fox.
  • Unlike Lady Fox, I have not just had my phone, wallet and Oyster card stolen.
  • I have a permanent and stable (if unsanitary) roof over my head.
  • This roof does not belong to Mama Fox, meaning I have escaped the eponymous graduate trap of having to return to your parents’ home after graduation.
  • I have had the opportunity to go to university, where I attained a 2:1 degree and have a post-grad diploma, theoretically enabling me to get a job in my chosen field.
  • I have interests and hobbies, theoretically making me a well-rounded individual.
  • I have a reasonable level of financial stability, despite being unemployed.
  • I live in London, in an exciting part of the East End.
  • I live in a country that recognises my right to marry someone of the same sex.
  • I have a family, who live near enough to visit, but not so near that we are forced to kill each other.
  • Really struggling now…
  • I’m not sure if this is making me less miserable or more miserable…
  • I got street style spotted the other day! That’s definitely pleasing.
  • Things like Harry Potter and LOLcats exist.
This city can really kick your arse sometimes. When I have to stay in bed to do anything because my flat is freezing, and we can’t afford to put the heating on for more than a few hours a day. When my GP admits that the NHS is useless and I should just go private if I actually want to get any form of medical assistance. When I apply for jobs I am over-qualified for and don’t even get a courtesy reply.
I read an interesting article in Stylist magazine about how people who lose their jobs can feel like they’ve lost their identity. That’s sort of how I’m feeling – almost like a non-person. My generation was told that we could do or have anything if we worked hard enough for it, and now, of course, there are many of us in the situation where we have put in the time and effort, and taken on huge debts, only to find out that we’ve been rather misled. Or fucked-in-the-ear, as I prefer. Yes, yes, think of the starving orphans and all, but really, I’m feeling incredibly despondent about how things have turned out.
On the other hand…
… there are things like this in the world.
It can’t all be bad.

Penny for them:

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