Beaky the Parrot Needs a Home

Beaky the parrot has spent too much time round the likes of me, and, as such, has developed a rather colourful vocabulary. Beaky, a chattering lory, has been ingratiating himself with the staff at RSPCA Leybourne Animal Centre in Kent by calling everyone ‘stupid’ and intermittently shouting ‘Fuck’ and ‘Arsehole’. He is also a tad bite-y if he doesn’t like the look of you. His carers surmise that Beaky has been taught to swear by his previous owner, as he is a very talented mimic.¬†Personally, I think he’s just a cantankerous ole boy telling those young’uns what’s what.

I hate not being able to have pets; it’s one of the many drawbacks of sharing rented living space. It seems the Gods are out to get me this weekend: I’ve seen nothing but new puppies and pretty cats. In fact, I came very close to stealing the potentially stray kitten in the Afro cash and carry today. I had dreams of smuggling it into my room, hiding it under the duvet whenever anyone came in. My landlord wouldn’t notice a kitten, surely? May have to revisit it tomorrow…

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