Maxine Nightingale

“Why don’t you do a Tuesday Tune song from Broadchurch?”

“Hmm.”

“Or one from Hallam Foe?”

“Meh.”

“Or one about sunshine?”

“Uhh.”

“Or something about how fucking cute I am?”

Go on then…

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Mornings with Lady Fox

It is 7am.

“Did you know that sex with someone under 13 is always rape?” – Good morning!!

“I’m sorry. Here, have a unicorn.”

“I’m giving a presentation for work. What smart clothing have you got that I can borrow?” (She is both two dress sizes bigger and nearly 9 inches taller than me.)

“Why is your printer not working?”

“What happened to the choc-chip Weetabix?”

“Where is my watch/earring/hat?”

“Did you do my washing that I left here?”

“Why is your USB stick called Kingston?”

“Will my earrings go with this outfit?”

“Can I keep this?”

And my response:

“It’s too damn early for this. And please don’t leave your cereal bowl in my bed.”

Confession

Lady Fox is coming round tonight. In anticipation of this, I have removed and hidden all of my favourites – the purple ones, toffee pennies and the green triangles, obviously – from my tin of Quality Street so that I won’t have to share them. Needless to say, I am an only child.

And a bad girlfriend.

Hackney City Farm

Farmyard Friends! In the middle of Hackney!

I spent the entire time I was there intermittently squealing, and slapping Lady Fox whilst shouting “I WANT IT! GET IT FOR ME NOW!”

We saw pigs:

Miss Fox: “Silly Americans just asked whether the animals are for petting, or if they actually get EATEN! Ahahaha!”

Sister-in-law Fox: “Actually, I think they do get eaten. You can buy their bacon and sausages in the shop.”

NOO!

Some exciting breeds of chicken:

I’ve recently had a traumatic hair-dyeing experience which has left me with an unfortunate ginger halo. Lady Fox joked that this chicken “looks just like you!” I had forgotten to sulk about that, well reminded.

Some suave looking ducks:

 

Donkeys!:

And a goat friend that we weren’t supposed to touch but did:

Also, I tried to steal several dogs. And babies. I may be hormonal.

Tschuss!

Hackney City Farm
1a Goldsmiths Row
London E2 8QA

Telephone 020 7729 6381

The SkyMarket

Before we start, I should mention that the title is misleading. The SkyMarket isn’t exactly a market – well, not yet anyway: It’s actually a mini rooftop restaurant/bar with a little deli area at the back. Not quite what I was expecting when I suggested it as a friday night jolly to Lady Fox, but definitely a good find nonetheless. They say:

The SkyMarket will offer London its first rooftop market place where customers can drink, dine, shop and learn both night and day. A kitchen, bar, deli, art & craft gallery and performance space all under one roof- or should I say, on top of one roof!

We went early (a good idea if, like me, you rarely have the forethought to book ahead) and were seated straight away by one of the founders who, bless him, was a bit flustered and had to check with the waitress to see if he was doing it right (The other founder was busy saying hello to his Mum). The ordering system was slightly chaotic; however, they’d only been open three days by this point, so I’m sure that’ll be straightened out.  Our waiter was happy to talk through everything on the menu, and double-checked with the chef whether the dishes we ordered were suitable for vegetarians without me having to ask, which was a nice touch and elicited a larger tip.

So: the food. We went with the classic ‘can’t decide, we’ll have a bit of everything’ line of thought, and it worked out pretty well for us (well, better for me anyway. Lady Fox isn’t used to eating things with any kind of flavour, so I got to finish up anything that was deemed too spicy/salty/’pickle-y’). I’d give you the names of the dishes we ordered, but it was all in foodie-speak and, therefore, incomprehensible; also, the menu changes every week, so it wouldn’t be of that much use to you anyway. I will tell you that the green and orange boat in the middle was an ‘Acar Acar of pickled crudites’. Which is basically a veg medley. There you go; you’ve learnt something. Cue obligatory ‘Arsehole with a Smart Phone’ pic:

And an amusing shot of Lady Fox with some black-eyed pea stew, for luck:

And those cocktails? Who knew melon and pink peppercorns would go so well (them, obviously). The desserts – black rice pudding in coconut milk, and vanilla chocolate tart with grapefruit mascarpone – were so good that they were devoured, and then promptly ordered by the next table over before thoughts of taking pictures even entered our heads.

The SkyMarket:

The menu was small, but clearly very well thought through. The mains sounded good, and it would definitely be a seafood-lover’s delight, but vegetarians and picky-types should probably do as we did and stick to the sides. Or just order dessert. Worth going for them alone.

The Skyroom, Magdalen House, 136-148 Tooley Street, London, SE1.

Open daily (except Sundays) 12pm-10pm (Mondays 12pm-5pm), cooking and mixology workshops run on Tuesdays; Nearest tube: London Bridge.