I have two flats to clean, 24 years worth of toot to unpack and a shit-load of vital admin to do before tomorrow, and, somewhat inevitably, I find myself stuck in a recommended videos adventure on YouTube. I therefore recommend to you the following:

Fun fact learnt at Bournemouth Oceanarium: a group of otters is called a romp. A ROMP!

Agnes Obel

Following YouTube recommendations usually leads you into a seemingly endless cycle of kitten videos and/or clips of idiots attempting stunts far above their abilities, and, before you know it, you’ve lost 2 hours of your life that you will never get back (so… what did everybody else do yesterday?). On this occasion, however, it lead me to the rather lovely voice of Agnes Obel. That lisp!

Parlez-vous Francais?


Mon dieu!

Permet d’apprendre!

Ok, so my Francais is limited to what we were taught in school, which boils down to the incredibly useful phrase “Je ne dois rien faire pour avoir de l’argent de poche” (that’s “I don’t have to do anything to get pocket money”, should you care to add it to your mental phrase-book) and several swear words. Which won’t get you far in the land d’escargot. 

Clearly, my language skills are lacking (although I do speak surprisingly good German when drunk) and if, like me, you were educated in an English state school, you’re probably in a similar situation. So I thought that today we could all enjoy a little French lesson…

… courtesy of some cats.


Ah, bon! Allez!

For getting down with the kids:

For dealing with pesky neighbourhood hooligans (or local crazies):

For honing negotiation skills:

For picking up essential workplace lingo:

and finally…

For screwing over your friends:

Et voila! Un petit educacion!

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